Not unlike a lot of other Vietnam veterans in general . .
. do I have Survivor’s Guilt. For me
it’s intense . . . Why did I survive? Have I lived an honorable life? Have I
minimized my mistakes and corrected those which I could? Have I made the most
of the opportunities I’ve been given that others never had: Have I done right
by the memories of my fallen comrades? Would they be proud of what I’ve accomplished
with the time they never had? They’re
unanswerable questions. We live with them. We don’t whine or complain; well
most of us don’t at least, after all, with but a few exceptions, we’re Marines!
We just go about life and do the best we can.
I have asked these questions
and have also concluded that there are no definitive answers. We owe a debt we
can’t repay to our fallen comrades. We do the best we can, realizing there will
always be some element of guilt over the apparent randomness of events that
spared us and took them.
Fortunately, there is a way to resolve this
guilt and every other form of anxiety that plagues our hearts. Freedom from
past wrongs, real and imagined, has already been won for us by our Savior,
Jesus Christ. When we take our guilt and worries to him and ask for
forgiveness, he gives us a clean slate. We can be thankful not only for our
physical survival on the battlefields of life, but also for a chance to start
life anew every day with a clear conscience. We pray that our fallen comrades
rest in peace and that somehow each has an opportunity to know and accept what
has been accomplished for them and for all of us by our Lord and Savior.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will
forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ~1 John 1:8
Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more. And
where these have been
forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. ~Hebrews 10:17-18
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